{"id":287,"date":"2020-07-24T20:49:26","date_gmt":"2020-07-24T20:49:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/?p=287"},"modified":"2021-06-23T18:02:35","modified_gmt":"2021-06-23T18:02:35","slug":"week-six-the-dreaded-codependency-of-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/week-six-the-dreaded-codependency-of-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Week Six: The (Dreaded) Codependency of Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I am sorry for my lack of posts, I finished Alive and Free over a month and a half ago, but am late to writing out my take aways and homework responses. These next three weeks, aka the last three weeks of this program, were the ones I had sort of dreaded, because I knew these weeks were going to be&#8230;heavy and preparing us to the end of the program. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I came into the week of &#8220;codependency&#8221; feeling a little&#8230;apprehensive because I acknowledge that I may be..well a little bit&#8230;codependent. But as I was beginning this weeks video, I realized something: I have done so much healing and application of my growth, that this week didn&#8217;t feel so heavy . According to author Danny Silk, &#8220;Codependency is &#8216;I will work harder on your problems than you do&#8217;.&#8221; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Codependency is a lot more than I thought it to be. Codependency is also:   <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1. Hero Complex: &#8220;No one else will step up to the plate, so I need to be that one&#8221;. Others won&#8217;t be okay without me and people will spiral if I am not there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> 2. The survival tools for stability are: my value is in being needed by other people and when others are okay, only then am I okay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have struggled (and still struggle) with both of these, and these are what I have learned: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>People will be okay, I am promoting co-dependence in others through my own codependency. People need to learn, no one will spiral. I am not supposed to be in someone&#8217;s &#8220;God spot&#8221;, I cannot save them all the time. That is not healthy for me and that is not healthy for others. <\/li><li>I am more than my ability to help others, that is a huge part of me, but not the only part. I can only be responsible for my life<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Another big part of codependency is the ability to say no, another aspect of life that I have had trouble with. I wanted to be all things to all people and be &#8220;superwoman&#8221;, a title I have proudly clung to and worked hard to maintain. But the truth is: only a fictional character has the ability to maintain and uphold that title all the time, and never become resentful or burnt out. There&#8217;s a saying that saying no to one thing is saying yes to another but it&#8217;s also saying yes to yourself, saying yes to rest, saying yes to recharge, saying yes to learning something, and more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>  <strong>Homework<\/strong>: weeks homework was pretty simple, just to think about and reflect on situations and\/or people that have brought up codependent feelings. Also to think of these questions: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1. <strong>Do I have the time?     <\/strong>                                                                                                                           2. <strong>Do I want to help in this situation?<\/strong> (You don&#8217;t need to help out in every single capacity, you have the right to pick and choose)                                                                                                            3.<strong> Can I powerfully say yes or no?<\/strong> (Am I operating out of a co-dependent behavior or do I genuinely want to offer myself to help?)                                           4.<strong> Are my needs met?<\/strong> (Is my &#8220;cup&#8221; empty or is is full and overflowing where I can serve from that?) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>FUN FACT TIME:<\/em><\/strong> I do not have a &#8220;green thumb&#8221;, plants unfortunately die due to my lack of taking care of them. One summer, I was SO excited to plant some vegetables, so I made my own little garden out of a baby pool.  I filled it with dirt, bought some seeds, spaced them out properly and put the pool into my backyard. The first week or two were great, I watered it and put some plant food in the soil, but after that.. I mostly forgot about, didn&#8217;t water it much, and kinda just left it outside in the sun during that hot summer. But I REFUSED to get rid of it because I will revive it and will start watering it everyday. I finally succumbed to the fact I had to get rid of it. But there was always next year! Thankfully to plants everywhere, I  only have an aloe plant I got this summer, and I love it because I only have to water it minimally and bring it out in the sun a couple times. ONE DAY, I will have a functional vegetable garden, just not this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am sorry for my lack of posts, I finished Alive and Free over a month and a half ago, but am late to writing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-posts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=287"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":296,"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions\/296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thislittlewarrior.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}