So if you didn’t read my last post, that was part one of the combined week 4 & 5 homework on encounters, that post focused on God encounters, this one is more on self encounters: past and future.

A bit of an update: I am actually almost through week 7 which is the second to last week of this 9 week program (intro week plus 8 weeks)! I recently renewed my domain name for another year (I think that’s what it’s called). I am still working on making this website look better (intention #15). I finally added my picture, still need to make it look a bit more put together. I finished spring semester today! Whoop, whoop! I have a 10 day break and then I continue with online classes for the first half of summer.

• Past Self Encounters: These are when you “go back” to younger you. This can look like a lot of different ways:
• You can have a heart to heart to her/him
• Laugh with them and be present in that moment with her/him
• Be the person they needed in a specific moment or in that time of life
• Reassuring her/him that they doing the best they could

For me, this looks like in moments I have random memories, happy or painful one, I can grab hold of that memory and step back in time, almost like I am back in that time. I can remember one night being in my aunts house eating broccoli at midnight in the kitchen at their island; everyone asleep, lights mostly off, and being very upset, feeling alone. A couple weeks ago, this memory came back into my head. It was after midnight, so I remembered that weird habit I had of eating broccoli at my aunts house after midnight (this happened often), so I made myself some broccoli, and went back in time to that moment, and I imagined myself hugging younger me and telling her how much she is loved, that life may soon be turned completely upside down but she will overcome and rise above to heal and inspire and love. That the journey and all its messes and laughs is worth it. I now think back to that moment and there isn’t pain attached.

In the same week as the recent broccoli eating and then staying up to at least 2 am most nights, similar to old patterns and habits I had during high school years. I did online school so I stayed at my aunts house a couple times a week with my cousins. I remember one memory I have. It was nighttime, the stars were out plentiful and bright, I was sitting in the backyard in front of their pool, watching the water be still, and the soft spring wind gently blowing, the quietness of night as I was reading my Bible. My aunt comes out, invites me to come sit in front of her on the step and she begins to run her fingers through my hair (she did this most nights when I would sit with her in front of the fireplace). I just remember feeling so at peace at that moment. When I had looked back at that memory given some things that have happened where I no longer see that side of my family, it was very painful to even think about, but I decided to go back in that moment and feel that love and peace, and accept it. It is one of the memories I am now able to remember and cherish, that set off a chain reaction of opening up other memories I have and laughing and smiling about them.

God has been leading me down a path of healing and forgiveness and letting go, and this is just the beginning. I can’t wait to see what comes next!

• Future Self Encounters: This encounter is connecting you to hope, its asking yourself “Where will I be in 10 years, what do you see?” Crush the thought that it was just your mind making something up, or I will never be able to reach hope. You won’t be able to connect with love if you are always realistic.

This one I love and can easily connect with, because I have always loved the future me, whenever I imagine future me, I think of married with 7 kids and loving life. For me, I asked myself whats the difference between present me and future me? I ask her, what’s one thing you’ve learned that has changed your life the most? What does my life look like 10 years from now?

So the Homework for weeks 4&5 was to 1. write a list of what I love about myself ✅ 2. practice encounters, and asking myself what I need ✅ 3. This one was the hardest but the most heart filling, ask people around me what they like about me, why do they like to be around me, and what strengths they see in me ✅ I am completely BLOWN away by the responses I’ve gotten by those who I asked. I am SO blessed.

Here’s a quote that one of the mentors spoke during these two weeks of videos that really resonated with me: You can’t run out if you are overflowing!

My plans for the next 10 days before going back to school

• Finish week 7 of A&F including homework, and watch half of week 8
• Take a long walk at least 4 times
• Able to (at a normal pace) sign ABCs in ASL and also “My name is.. and my entire name, first, middle, last
• Watch at least 3-25 Disney movies
• Read a book, maybe two
• Watch some Netflix (gotta finish All American)
• Listen to some episodes of the podcast, “The Connected Life”
• Work on some intentions
• Slay and Pray